Top 5 tips for managing the 4 month sleep regression
So what is the four month sleep regression?
First of all its not really sleep regression at all. It is simply sleep cycle maturation: a natural part of a baby’s development up, moving on from the newborn sleep cycle to the life long circadian rhythm.
Many other significant developments are occurring at this stage. A major one is the concept of cause and effect i.e. this is now happening as a result of that happening. Your baby will have a new heightened awareness of their environment and how it all works. Throw teething and getting ready for solid‘s into the mix and it’s not hard to see why a baby’s sleep is affected. A common mistake I see frequently is parents expecting something that has worked so far to work forever. Your baby is growing and developing at lightning speed, and what works best for them will keep changing, too. Now not every baby will experience sleep disturbance at this stage and you would be forgiven for believing those babies are somehow different to your little one as if they have been gifted with some magical powers at birth. They have not. After 25 years in the company of babies and their parents I have had the opportunity to see the very clear reasons why some babies sleep while others take many months if not years to sleep through the night. There is a ‘secret sauce’ for a having sleeping baby. Unfortunately you can’t buy it in a bottle (I wish you could) that secret sauce is a list of habits. Yes very boring and not a quick fix, but if you are willing to put the work in and believe in the process it will and does pay off. I have been helping parents achieve the nirvana that is a baby that sleeps 10 – 12 hours a night by 3 months for over 13 years now so please believe me when I tell you that almost any baby can do it (with only underweight or unwell babies being the exceptions). Its all in the routine and making it easy for them to sleep. Even if you are in the middle of the hell that is sleep regression, before your baby is 6 months you can turn it around and help them learn how to sleep just by being consistent and staying the course
These 5 tips are how I prevent or manage the four month sleep regression
1. Establish a daytime routine with the right nap time duration. Check out our ‘your child’s sleep need’s’ chart as a guide.
2. Create a solid bedtime routine that is increases the sleep hormone melatonin:
3. Create an environment that is conducive to sleep:
4. Don’t let your baby go to bed hungry. Some babies are ready to begin the transition to solid foods, starting with pureed fruit and veg, and baby rice, at 17 weeks or just after. After the 17 week mark it is absolutely safe to wean, though don’t wean before 17 weeks as your baby’s digestive system is not ready. Check out our ‘signs & signals your baby is ready to wean’ advice.
[Most parents do not wait until 6 months, as the government advises. However, the majority of babies in the UK are weaned at 5 months, as mothers do know what their babies’ needs are. The government’s advice has nothing to do with weaning to solids and everything to do with the World Health Organisation increasing breastfeeding rates around the world; weaning has been a casualty in this agenda.]
5. Don’t intervene! If you have considered these tips and applied the advice, the next step is to stop yourself from intervening with wake ups that are part of your baby’s normal sleep cycle. Your baby is learning to sleep – interfere too quickly and you will simply teach them to rely on you to get back to sleep. Inappropriate sleep associations can be rocking, feeding, cuddling, or many other routines where good intentions lead to bad habits (I can’t tell you how many gym balls I’ve seen being used to put babies back to sleep!)
Stay strong; crying is a normal form of self–soothing, it’s like self-created white noise. Give them at least 10 minutes to settle themselves (but no more than 15 minutes) before interrupting that process to check on them. Nothing terrible will happen to your baby if they cry for 10 minutes, I can promise you that. (If, after 15 minutes, you do need to go in to check on them, try to intervene as little as possible – crucially, as tempting as it is, do not feed them!) After just a week or so they will have learnt how to go back to sleep upon waking– an amazing new skill they can keep their entire life. Try not to worry about your baby’s cry waking your husband who has to go to work in the morning or your older children who have to go to school. It is one week of their lives. They’ll get over one week of disruption far faster than the alternative – the creation of a real sleep problem, where you, your baby, and everyone else in the family suffers sleep deprivation for months, if not years, to come. When you look at it like that, it’s really a no brainer.
Please remember that sleep is not a dirty word – you are not less of a mother for needing it. Everybody needs sleep, including your baby! It is as important as food and water to their growth and development. I get very cross when I hear people who do not understand the significance and science of sleep and give mothers advice to the contrary. Listen to your body and your baby – they will both tell you all you need to know about the effects of lack of sleep.
I hope you find these tips useful. I’ve picked them up over many years, and thousands of hours of practice with hundreds of babies from all over the world. Babies needs are all the same and are quite basic – GOOD FOOD, GOOD SLEEP, TO BE CLEAN, WARM, LOVED, AND FREE FROM PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT. The key to a happy baby, and a happy parent, is understanding and satisfying those basic needs. And who doesn’t want a happy baby?
If you have applied these tips and your baby’s sleep is the same (or getting worse!) simply get in touch with us we can help set you on the path to good sleep hygiene in no time
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